Heartache temporary; bullets only stop your blood. [entries|friends|calendar] idont_bleed [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

dont tell me that its over. [22 Mar 2008|08:08pm] [ mood | abandoned ] my tears are turning into time ive wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye i cant live without you cant breath without you im dreaming about you honestly tell me that its over cuz if the world is spinning and im still living it wont be right if we're not in it together tell me that its over and ill be the first to go dont wanna be the last to know. i wont be the one to chase you but at the same time your the heart that i call home im always stuck with these emotions and the more i try to feel the less im whole my tears are turning into time ive wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye. i cant live without you. can breath without you. im dreaming about you. honestly tell me that its over. cuz if the world is spinning, and im still living, it wont be right if we're not in it together. 3 comments|post comment

[11 Mar 2008|11:58pm] [ mood | mischievous ] i need to party period lol spring break is coming, and i cant wait to do nothing but drink and catch up with old friends and not have to drive 45 minutes in the morning to school and 45 back blech. i miss laughing at inside jokes. i cant wait to have time to see the following ppl CAITLIN and thats pretty much it lol maybe 2 more ppl. post comment

[10 Mar 2008|12:46am] your not alone there is more to this i know you can make it out you will live to tell post comment

[10 Mar 2008|12:36am] [ mood | numb ] [ music | "You're not alone"- saosin ] i think one word to describe myself would be tired. im so tired and i dont know if i will ever not be tired haha. i feel like im talking to myself because i know no one reads this anyway. but i really miss how things used to be. like i have friends that were right around the corner and if i called them they would answer and if i needed someone to cry to or to give me advice or to tell me im just being stupid and dont need to be upset, they would always be there. the people ive known since i was in middle school or earlier, the people i had been through the good and the bad and still made it to seperate in the end anyway. those people... they left me here. and as selfish as that sounds thats honestly how i feel sometimes. they left me here. i feel like i cant trust anyone really. maybe one or two people but when everyone left, and i talk to them now, it feels like everything is a formality and we arent close anymore. like its always "how are you? hows school?" and i feel like if i bring up something thats too heavy, im wrong to do so. college is so weird man. honestly, the weirdest thing ive ever had to admit is in this journal entry, but truly "i really miss how things used to be." 2 comments|post comment

Im getting tired and i need something to rely on. [10 Feb 2008|05:12pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | throwback: Kean "Somewhere only we know" ] so tell me when your gunna let me in im getting tired and i need somewhere to begin and if you have a minute why dont we go talk about it somewhere only we know this could be the end of everything so why dont we go somewhere only we know im stuck between two worlds and it sucks. im ultimately a very lonely person. its hard to get personal with people when you live in two worlds. i feel like either way, either i hang out with WPU ppl or my old friends or my bf im avoiding someone else. swimming in college was a lot harder than initially anticipated and idk if i can handle another year or three... if i quit, ill have no friends at school really. february is the worst month for relationships and it scares the crap out of me ya know when someone is absolutely perfect for you and you feel them slipping through your fingers? i miss a time where i physically couldnt go all day without talking to someone. now it seems that i spend half my life in my car its getting to the point where i talk to myself on my hour drive to and from school just to keep myself sane. im not sure if this part of my life is bad or just boring both of which have very different cures. i miss my friends. 3 comments|post comment

[16 May 2007|06:49pm] [ mood | tired ] i have mono i went to school with migraines, a consistant fever, nausea, fatigue all because i was told i had a viral infection. Ha! i was right. and i couldve died at karate testing where i got kicked and punched in the stomach maybe 40 times. getting kicked in the right spot wouldve ruptured my spleen and i wouldve died on the spot. i dont have a prom dress i have 12 projects to do within 5 weeks the senior art show is coming up i have more homework than a normal person can manage i have tons of long term projects to remember and now i have mono but at least i have dan :) the love of my life. seriously he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. thank god for you dan. it was our one year last sunday. May 13th 2007. i havent lasted more than 3 consecutive months with one person ever before. but on that day it was proven that dan was it. hes the one. we went to the top of the empire state building and i almost threw up on the elevator ride to the top, the floor counter counted by tens we were going so fast. i turned green and pale and almost passed out. before that we went to an Irish pub that offered us beer haha i love how no one in NYC cards you. but everything was wonderful. i love him with every atom i got. i wish everyone in the world can feel what i feel for dan. im tired from all this typing, im gunna go to bed now, mind you, its 7:00. my new bedtime since mono :) 5 comments|post comment

[10 Apr 2007|11:11am] so awesome join! 19 comments|post comment

[14 Mar 2007|05:23pm] 14 comments|post comment

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